THE BRIDGE
The domestic violence and sexual assault service provider for Dunn and Pepin Counties.
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The domestic violence and sexual assault service provider for Dunn and Pepin Counties. |
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The Cycle of Violence The cycle of violence is a predictable pattern that research has linked with violent relationships. The cycle has three stages:
This cycle varies in timing for individual relationships. Denial is a key factor that keeps both partners tightly bound in this vicious cycle. This denial must be broken. In order to do so, some intervention must be sought…..counseling, support groups, or separation if the other means fail. When both partners seek help individually, there is hope that the cycle of violence will be broken. Tension-BuildingDuring this stage, the person being abused reports
feeling as though they are “walking on egg shells,” careful not to
upset or make angry the abuser. The
belief is that by not upsetting the abuser, they can prevent or control
the violence. The abuser
blames those around for the problems they are facing, they become more
possessive, jealous and increasingly lose control. Explosion Violence occurs.
It may take the form of verbal, emotional/psychological, physical,
or sexual abuse (or a combination of these).
Any incident (often insignificant incidents) may trigger the abuse.
Chemical usage may or may not be involved along with the abuse.
The abuser feels “relieved” after the explosion, often
appearing calm. However, the abused individual may be extremely upset,
confused, or numb, along with the physical and emotional pain. If police are called and arrive at the scene at this time,
the behavior of the person that was abused is mistakenly questioned
because they MAY appear out of control and the abuser calm.
(Hence the need for education and awareness for officers). Honeymoon During this phase, the abuser promises never to hurt his partner again, promises to seek help, and may feel guilt or remorse. But often these are attempts to keep their partner. Too often, the abuser continues to blame their partner for the violence, and will make them feel guilty and responsible for their behavior. The abused person believes that their partner will change during this time frame – they see the person they originally fell in love with. Denial As long as denial exists for either partner, the violence will continue. Adapted from: “Cycle of Violence” Theory – Lenore Walker |
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No one deserves to be abused. 1-800-924-9918 We are here to help. Free & Confidential Services |